Wednesday, May 16, 2007 @3:45 AM
20 September 1989
Your date of conception was on or about 28 December 1988 which was a Wednesday. [this is so not true… my parents didn’t get married until Jan. 14, 1989]
You were born on a Wednesdayunder the astrological sign Virgo.Your Life path number is
11.
2 (11/2, 20/2)
The Life Path 2 suggests that you entered this plane with a spiritual quality in your makeup allowing you to be one of the peacemakers in society. Your strengths come from an ability to listen and absorb. You are a fixer, a mediator, and a very diplomatic type of person using persuasive skills rather than forcefulness to make your way in the world. When you embrace and exhibit the strenghth of your spiritual side, you are intuitive, avant-garde, idealistic, and visionary. These extremes make you interesting with much to offer society. You have the potential to be a deep-thinker, and no doubt interested in understanding many of life's mysteries and more intriguing facets. [oh yes, i am!]
If you are living with the positive attributes of the number 2 Life Path, you are apt to have the most delicate ability to be balanced and fair. You clearly see the full spectrum of viewpoints in any argument or situation, and because of this, people may seek you out to be a mediator. In this role you are able to settle disputes with the most unbiased flair. There is sincere concern for others; you think the best of people, and want the best for them. You are honest and open in thought, word and deed. [hmmm...?]You excel in any form of group activity where your expertise in handling and blending people can be used effectively. Manners and tact mark your way with others, and you are not one to dominate a group or situation. You are the master of compromise and of maintaining harmony in your environment. As the ultimate team member, you never demand praise or recognition.
In many ways, you are a creature of habit and routine, and you like your path and pattern well worn and familiar. [i guess so...]Your ability to analyze and render accurate judgments is a wonderful natural trait you bring to the business world. You strive for complete accuracy and even perfection in your work. Perhaps you are not a leader, but you are a visionary and a very talented idea person.
On the negative side of the 2, nervous [i hate this feeling!]energy is a trait often observed in the 2. Because of this, you may be seen as an extremist who is sometimes the zealot in expressing likes and dislikes. Nervous tension can bring the normally easygoing 2 into a state of emotional outrage, which to those around you, may seem so out of character. Indeed, the 2 can sometimes become oversensitive. In some instances, the strength of the 2 can also become its weakness. You may find it hard to decide what to do at times. Twos often struggle against indecisiveness. Making decisions and getting your life in gear, so to speak, may be a challenge. There is a tendency for the many 2s to harbor feelings of uneasiness, and dissatisfaction with accomplishments and personal progress in life. The biggest obstacle and difficulty you may face is that of passivity and a state of apathy and lethargy. [omg! naging ganito na ko for some time!!!] The negative 2 can be very pessimistic. When this sets in to any degree, you are able to accomplishes very little. If living on the negative side of the 2, you may lack common sense, and you are quite often unable to distinguish between fantasy and reality.
Even the more positive individuals with the 2 Life Path will prefer a more amiable and less competitive environment, often shunning the business world. You can best serve society in endeavors utilizing your skills of counseling and guidance. Much of your idealism is people oriented and quite humanitarian in nature. You expect a great deal of yourself.
Life Path Compatibility:You are most compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 2, 4, 8, 11 & 22.You should get along well with those with the Life Path numbers 3 & 6.You may or may not get along well with those with the Life Path number 9.You are least compatible with those with the Life Path numbers 1, 5 & 7. [hindi kami compatible! Yes!]The Julian calendar date of your birth is 2447789.5.The
golden number for 1989 is 14.The
epact number for 1989 is 22.The year 1989 was not a leap year.Your birthday falls into the Chinese year beginning 2/6/1989 and ending 1/26/1990.You were born in the
Chinese year of the Snake.Your Native American Zodiac sign is Bear; your plant is Violets.You were born in the Egyptian month of Hathys, the third month of the season of Poret (Emergence - Fertile soil).Your date of birth on the Hebrew calendar is 20 Elul 5749.Or if you were born after sundown then the date is 21 Elul 5749.
The Mayan Calendar long count date of your birthday is 12.18.16.7.5 which is12 baktun 18 katun 16 tun 7 uinal 5 kin
The Hijra (Islamic Calendar) date of your birth is Wednsday, 18 Safar 1410 (1410-2-18).
The date of Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 26 March 1989.The date of Orthodox Easter on your birth year was Sunday, 30 April 1989.The date of Ash Wednesday (the first day of Lent) on your birth year was Wednesday 8 February 1989.The date of Whitsun (Pentecost Sunday) in the year of your birth was Sunday 14 May 1989.The date of Whisuntide in the year of your birth was Sunday 21 May 1989.The date of Rosh Hashanah in the year of your birth was Saturday, 30 September 1989.The date of Passover in the year of your birth was Thursday, 20 April 1989.The date of Mardi Gras on your birth year was Tuesday 7 February 1989. As of 5/15/2007 11:24:49 AM EDTYou are 17 years old.You are 212 months old.You are 921 weeks old.You are 6,446 days old.You are 154,715 hours old.You are 9,282,924 minutes old.You are 556,975,489 seconds old.Celebrities who share your birthday:
Gary Cole (1957)
Sophia Loren (1934)
Anne Meara (1929)
Dr. Joyce Brothers (1928)
Ferdinand 'Jelly Roll' Morton (1890)
Upton Sinclair (1878)
Top songs of 1989
Another Day In Paradise by Phil Collins
Miss You Much by Janet Jackson
Straight Up by Paula Abdul
Right Here Waiting by Richard Marx
Lost In Your Eyes by Debbie Gibson
Like a Prayer by Madonna
We Didn’t Start the Fire by Billy Joel
Two Hearts by Phil Collings
When I See You Smile by Bad English
Blame It On the Rain by Milli Vanilli
[ooh! i like another day in paradise, right here waiting for you pati when i see you smile!! haha:))]Your age is the equivalent of a dog that is 2.52289628180039 years old. (Life's just a big chewy bone for you!)
There are 128 days till your next birthdayon which your cake will have 18 candles.Those 18 candles produce 18 BTUs,or 4,536 calories of heat (that's only 4.5360 food Calories!) .You can boil 2.06 US ounces of water with that many candles.
In 1989 there were approximately 3.7 million births in the US.In 1989 the US population was approximately 226,545,805 people, 64.0 persons per square mile.In 1989 in the US there were 2,404,000 marriages (9.7%) and 1,163,000 divorces (4.7%)In 1989 in the US there were approximately 1,990,000 deaths (8.8 per 1000)In the US a new person is born approximately every 8 seconds.In the US one person dies approximately every 12 seconds.In 1989 the population of Australia was approximately 16,936,723.In 1989 there were approximately 250,853 births in Australia.In 1989 in Australia there were approximately 117,176 marriages and 41,383 divorces.In 1989 in Australia there were approximately 124,232 deaths.Your birthstone is Sapphire The Mystical properties of Sapphire
Though not meant to replace traditional medical treatment, Sapphire is used for clear thinking.
Some lists consider these stones to be your birthstone. (Birthstone lists come from Jewelers, Tibet, Ayurvedic Indian medicine, and other sources)
Agate, Moonstone, Lapis Lazuli
Your birth tree is
Lime Tree, the Doubt
Accepts what life dishes out in a composed way, hates fighting, stress and labour, tends to laziness and idleness, soft and relenting, makes sacrifices for friends, many talents but not tenacious enough to make them blossom, often wailing and complaining, very jealous, loyal. [omg! so me!!!]
There are 224 days till Christmas 2007!There are 237 days till Orthodox Christmas!The moon's phase on the day you wereborn was waning gibbous.
Labels: me
Monday, March 12, 2007 @10:00 PM
march 12, 2007
10 pm
i don't know where to start this.
i'll just type what is on my mind.
"everything is gonna be alright. be strong, believe."
that's what's playing wight now.
and it reminds me of zab.
zab is the reason of all this. i am not blaming him. it's my fault. but he is the reason of all these realizations.
because of him i am finally trying or decided to pick up the pieces that i let pile up in a mess. i have to start fixing my life. i have to know my priorities. sobrang nalalaman ko uli kung ano ang gusto ko, and i know from there... i'll be able to start picking up the pieces.
sobrang hindi ko alam kung bakit hinayaan kong gumulo ng ganito ang buhay ko. alam ko na pala. kasi i didn't care. i didn't want to care. i have stopped caring. and now, i realized that i can't stop caring. i have to break away from apathy. apathy is going to ruin me.
ngayon ko narerealize na sobrang i didn't want to care. i really stopped caring. kasi nagsawa ako magcare. at narealize ko na you can't stop caring. i realized that i am wrong. na no matter how much it pained you and how much caring hurt you, you can't decide to stop believing, you can't decide to stop loving life, you can't stop feeling, you can't stop having to care for someone and actually consider their feeling. you can't decide and pretend that everything is about you. cause it's not. and that revenge is not at all sweet. i got mine, but it didn't feel good. sobrang panget ng feeling.
siguro kasi ngayon, narealize ko na mahal talaga ko ng nanay ko. maybe i am that kind of person. i push them to their limits until i know that i matter to them. i push everything that matter to me away and see what will happen. to see if they will still stick with me or go away. and my mom, i know she doesn't deserve this. siguro kasi nafifeel ko na mahal niya talaga ko, and i try to make her unlove me and see what will happen. ganun ako palagi. puta. tangina. i know i have to change this attitude. hindi ko alam kung bakit kailangan hanapan ko ng rason ang lahat ng bagay. hindi ko alam kung bakit lahat hinahanapan ko ng limit.
i have to accept that there are just things that are limitless. that no matter what i do to push them away they will still be there. kung sa math nga may limit does not exist. and i have been wrong to test the people that i know who will always be there. i have been wrong to push God, my mom and probably myself to the limit of not loving me. and i failed. i failed.
sana makita ng nanay ko kung paano ko nakikita ang araw na to.
today is God's wake up call. that no matter what i do. no matter how hard i try for Him to unlove me, it just won't happen. it's a wake up call that i cannot do things on my own. and that i am not that independent. hindi ko masabi kung paano pero narerealize mo lang yun eh.
and today would suck because i am actually admitting and accepting that i am wrong. and maybe, this is how i will be different from my dad. na hindi niya ako katulad. na kahit nasa akin ang lahat ng genes ng kagaguhan niya, ang pagiging matalino niya, ang pagiging independent at palaban niya, hindi pa rin ako katulad niya. i think it's time for me to fight for what's different with us. because unlike him, i can be faithful. unlike him i can admit and accept that i am wrong. unlike him i have compassion. unlike him i love my mom. unlike him i can control. unlike him i know how to stand up again. and i am not ashamed of falling so many times and feeling like shit.
i have to stop blaming other people. because i don't want to be like him. siguro nga hindi ko mababago ang genes niya na nasa akin. but i have always said that i am my own person. i have the choice to change my life and choose to not be like him.
this fight inside me is my struggle for my individuality. my struggle between me and my father in me.
i wish i am as strong as my mom. i wish i have her forgiving ability. her selflessness. her humility, and her faith. i also wish i have her courage.
courage is different with what i have. i am a coward because i am scared of big changes. i am scared of the unknown. i am scared to trust people.
"tapusin mo na yan. tapusin mo na yan"
-mom, i know. kailangan kong tapusin lahat ng kagaguhang iniisip ko. i have to put an end to my revenge. i have to put an end to my silliness. i have to put an end to my apathy.
i have to start trusting people. pero hindi ko alam kung paano ko gagawin yun. kasi natatakot ako. ewan ko. hindi ko na alam. and it sucks for me to be in this state that i know nothing, and there are things that i can't explain.
sobrang pinipigilan ko ang sarili ko magopen up sa mga tao. at somehow kay zab, nagawa ko. ewan. at hindi ko alam kung saan nanggaling yung sinabi ko sa kanya na "you have to have faith. it's the only thing that will save you."
i hate people when i know they're right. and somehow nagagalit ako sa mga taong tama ang sinasabi at pilit na pinapakita na mahal nila ko. nagagalit ako sa nanay ko na minamahal niya ko. nagagalit ako kay God kasi pilit niyang pinapakita na mahal niya ko. hindi ko alam kung bakit ayaw ko na mahalin ako ng tao.
alam ko pala kung bakit. kasi i stopped believing in love. i had been cynical about it, and i pushed away everything that is attached to it.
i have to stop hating people. i have to really love. love the people that matters. love the people who loves me.
kasi naman ewan ko ba kung bakit ang hilig ko sa mga taong ayaw sa akin.
simula ngayon, mamahalin ko na lang ang mga taong nagmamahal sakin. ay hindi. mas mamahalin ko ang mga taong nagmamahal sakin.
i have to talk to my mom. i have to tell her i am sorry.
sobrang gulo ng utak ko. sobrang gulo ng buhay ko. at hindi ko alam kung paano ko uumpisahang ayusin. well, naumpisahan ko siya by trying to pull up my grades, and i was able to prove to myself na kaya ko. pero as usual dinagdagan ko nanaman.
kaya ngayon, uumpisahan kong linisin ang kuwarto ko. tapos pag nagawa ko na yon, tatapusin ko na yung problema ko sa lit at english. kung alin mauna doon or magaaral ako for botany lab. tapos aayusin ko na yung kay cathy. tapos kay zab. tapos pagkatapos nun sa nanay ko na yung aayusin ko. kasi sa tingin ko pag nagawa ko na yun, medyo okay na yung buhay ko, puwede ko ng isa-isahin plantsahin ang mga gusot sa buhay ko. siguro dapat kong umpisahan sa pinakabagong problema? kasi, mas fresh at iyon yung nasa ibabaw eh.
hmmmm... hindi ko alam kung anong meron ako para kay zab. kasi na o-overwhelm ako. pero mas okay na friends lang kami. tama. yun lang.
Labels: fix, life, me