every beat of my heart

Sunday, April 27, 2008 @3:26 AM

Forgive me, I am not used to this anymore.

I am now in the process of relearning the art of cramming, of late nights and early mornings to the point of no sleep.

I am also in the process of reacquiring lost study habits... rather acquiring study habits, good study habits.

I am also finding my way amongst the veteran students.

It may seem an exaggeration for others, but really if you bum for more than three months, it will consume all that you know of being a student, a worker and of being a FUNCTIONAL human being.

If all you do for three months is sleep and eat, you will have a hard time staying up late more of waking up early in the morning! It will be hard for your body to adjust from skipping meals and irregular meals. It will even be a rigorous task to think of what you would wear to school, especially if none of your clothes fit you because you gained gargantuan amount of fat; what to eat for breakfast, and where your class is.

Make it worse by taking a full load for summer. Three hard core subjects that require a lot of reading time, writing time, and an awful lot of time to digest and process.

So, if I appear as a slacker, and irresponsible, forgive me. I am doing my best not to be, but I am still adjusting. AGAIN.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008 @4:41 AM

When you feel like you are going to die or you want to die, it's always better to have someone to tell that you are dying or that you want to die. Well, not that but the reason why you're dying or why you want to die. It's just really nice to have someone whom you can constantly talk to about anything and would care about what you will say, would worry about you and would do anything to cheer you up, and would give you reasons to live. But then again, if you already have the idea of that someone you'd want to be like that to you, even if there's a thousand of that around you they just don't fit the bill. You still don't feel comforted, you're still looking, you're still unfocused, you're still wandering, you're still suspended in that agony of waiting to die. ha! my first attempt on writing creatively. So, I might blog more this time. I think it's still good that SOM mixed up my Eco class and I ended up taking Creative Writing with Sir Glenn Mas this summer. It's a dream come true for me to write a play, and now I will be obliged to write because that's our final paper. Another unfortunate thing that had some use in the end, is my dad's confiscating my phone, I got used to not having a phone. Just three days after I got my phone back, it got stolen (see here that I used the word stolen because I tried to retrieve it but the trike driver outsmarted me) and I spent a big deal looking for the trike and the trike driver. I NEED MY PHONE BACK! Gawd. I don't know if my parents will replace it. I want my phone back, it was my first big purchase. I want it back!!! Other things I want back: My DVDs!!!! (specially: Girl Interrupted, Peter Pan, Hook, Crazy/Beautiful) My books (specially my classics: Emma, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Peter Pan, Unbearable Lightness of a Being, my film book!!!) My low cut chucks!!!! All my low cuts are with you! My red dress and other shorts! Please, I want them back. I want my things back. I need what I want back. I may be confused and unfocused, but it does not affect my judgement on things that I want.

Friday, April 11, 2008 @6:17 PM

This Is The Hurt Survey

Let's see if you're tough enough to get through it. If not, you're too scared about the truth.

1. Would you kiss the last person you kissed, again?
> uhhh... no.

2. Have you told anyone you'd marry them?
> no.

3 . Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
> yata. oo.

4. Have you ever made a bf/gf cry?
> well, hindi ko siya boyfriend, pero umiyak siya. bwahahahaha

5. Are you happier single or in a relationship?
> single. never been on a relationship:|

6. Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
> yep. pero alam niya totoo yun, kahit hindi talaga.

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
> dati.

8. Have you ever broken someone else's heart?
> sana. bwahahaha

9. Do you still talk to your exes?
> wala eh.

10. Last time you kissed someone?
> bago ko umalis nung december. november ata.

11. If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
> yes. but i coudn't. okay na rin.:D

12. Do you think you are a good bf/gf?
> OO. wahahahaha!

13. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
> uhhhh... siguro kung hindi, walang nangyari ever sa mga buhay buhay ng ibang bata.

14. have u ever liked anyone else's bf/gf?
> oo. wahahahaha!

15. Like anyone right now?
> wala eh.

17. Does that person like you back?
> i like me back:))

18. Do you love someone at the moment?
> my self:D

18. What are you going to do tonight?
> uhhhh.... sana makagimik kasama ng mga pinsan ko.

19. how do you feel right now?
> sleepy. i just yawned.:))

21 . Have you ever been kissed upside down?
> spiderman kiss:D hahahahaha yun yun db?

22. What would you like to say to one person on your mind?
> i love you, amiel. and then amiel will say: I love you ninang. i heart my babies:D

@6:59 AM

Because I'm back:D and here to stay:D
*grabbed from miles:D

1. What's your ID number?
-- 063722

2. Passed or waitlisted?
-- Passed

3. How did you know about the ACET results?
-- may batang nagtext out of the blue para sabihing hindi siya pumasa at pumasa ako. tapos dahil hindi ako naniniwala, tumawag ako sa ateneo. hahahaha:) pero love ko pa rin yung batang tumawag:D

4. Was Ateneo your first choice?
-- Yep.

5. Do you know what your ACET score is?
-- Nope.

6. What course was your first choice?
-- LM

7. Second choice?
-- Psych ata or Comm

8. Ano course mo ngayon?
-- LM

9. Did you have any plans of shifting?
-- Yep.

10. Chinito/chinita ka ba?
-- Ayaw. haha. hindi.

11. Taga-Ateneo High?
-- Babae po ako. So, malamang hindi.

12. Did you have fun in your OrSem?
-- yupyup:D

13. Saang gate ka pumasok nung first day?
-- Gate 2.

14. Are you staying in a dorm?
--I wish!!! Pero hindi eh. sadness.

15. Ever had an F in your grade report?
-- Oo. pero, hindi pa napapalitan from inc to F. :))

16. How about an A?
-- Yep.

17. Highest grade?
-- uhhh. yung A? pero PE lang yun. so 3.5

18. Lowest grade?
-- D pero pagnapalitan na yung incomplete ko sa english, F na.

19. Worst experience in ADMU?
-- Nawala ko yung phone ng kapatid ko? well, so far yun... or yung guidance interview nung first year.

20. Do you always attend class?
-- Asa. Kaya nga F eh. :))

21. What's/what are your org/orgs?
-- TA!!!:D at LEX

22. How many units have you passed?
-- uhhh.. tinatamad ako magcheck ng aisis.

23. Nangangarap ka bang maglaude?
-- Hindi.

24. When will you graduate?
-- 2010 siguro.

25. Fave subject/s?
-- Zoology, Lit, World Histo at Psych.

26. Worst subject/s?
-- ACCOUNTING!

27. Fave landmark sa ADMU?
-- Koska Smaket at Som smaket.

28. Fave kainan?
-- Healthy Kitchen tsaka yung tj stand sa may entrance ng caf

29. How do you get to school?
-- Trike. Kapag naabutan ko yung car, hinahatid ako.

30. Are you always at the lib?
-- uhhhh... i try. hahaha

31. Ever gone to the infirmary when you were sick?
-- Yep. There was a time, madalas ako dun.

32. Do you have a crush on campus?
-- Yep.

33. May balak kang mag-MS, PhD?
-- Yep.

34. Have you ever watched a graduation ceremony?
-- Not yet.

35. Do you know the "Song for Mary" by heart?
-- hindi eh

36. Memorize mo ba ang Fabilioh?
-- hindi rin

37. ...ang Halikinu?
-- oo ata.

38. ...ang Blue Eagle Spelling?
-- oo. hahaha

39. Are you part of Team Ateneo?
-- I wish!

40. Who's your fave UAAP basketball player?
-- uhhh... shet. nakalimutan ko na!

41. Ever had a perfect score in an exam?
-- hindi pa.

42. Ano ang ayaw mo sa Hell Week?
-- Pag-uwi ko napapagalitan ako dahil amoy yosi.

43. Dito ka ba natuto uminom ng beer?
-- hindi. pero hindi rin ako nagb-beer.

44. What do you like about our school?
-- Super accessible lahat ng bagay.-- true. agree ako dito kay Miles. At ang reg:D

45. Ano ang ayaw mo?
-- may mga smockets pa.

46. Have you ever bought anything at the A-shop?
-- istickers.

47. Maganda ba ID pic mo?
-- hindi eh.

49. Bought anything at National Katips?
-- forever

50. Ever gone to Starbucks Katips?
-- syempre.

51. may nakaaway ka na ba sa school?
-- wala pa naman.

51. QPI?
-- tinatamad ako computin. at well. hindi ko alam.

Thursday, April 03, 2008 @5:08 PM

I grabbed this from Phimie:)

Part I. Formal.

1. Batch?

- '06

2. Ilan ang sections sa batch mo?

- seven: Avo, Bec, Curie, Darwin, Edison, Einstein at Fleming. tama, seven.

3. Anung curriculum sinusunod niyo?

- sa totoo lang… di ko na maalala sa dami ng beses magpalit!! Hahaha-- true. at never ako nag-care.

4. Ano sections mo per year?

- ~~Darwin I, Doiyeen II~~, Eddie’s song III, Edsuns IV... hehehe... –inside joke... –good job Phims! Hahaha. Bec I, Ed II, tapos Ed. Ed. Ed. Haha. 2^nd, 3^rd at 4^th year Edison ako!!!

Part II. Personal.

1. Sino favorite principal mo? Explain.

- sa kamalasmalasan ay cavo batch kami… =(… yung principal daw bago kay cavo asteeg… wahahaha…-- Si sir Habihan. Astig kaya yun. At siya favorite ko kasi dahil ayaw k okay Cavo at kahit wala pa atang isang quarter nung first year tumagal si Habihan sa batch natin, siya na lang favorite koJ

2. Eh, subject & teacher? favorite.

- music! Ma’am hermano! Hahaha… econ!! Ma’am Erpelo! … mahilig ako sa English… pero di ko favorite teachers ko dun… hehehe… English club advisers gusto ko! Ma’am San Diego at Ma’am Ramos! Hahaha... si Sir Armamento gusto ko... kahit ayoko ng physics... ahahaha—I agree!! Pero, hindi ko gusto Music. Pero si Ma’am Hermano gusto ko kasi inampon niya tayo nung 3^rd year. Math at si Sir Bitangcol (kahit hindi ko favorite Math ng 1^st, 3^rd, at 4^th year ngayon feeling ko yun yung the best days nung HS ang mga panggagago sa mga teachers sa subject nay un during the class) si sir Bitangcol kasi first time ko maka 94 sa Math sa card sa buong adolescent life ko. Subject: Physics Sir Armaments at Sir Kulong the best teachers ever. Sir Armaments nagka 96 ako sa kanya at sir Kulong ang teacher na pumapasok at nagtuturo na pamaypay lang ang gamit!

Higit sa lahat favorite kong teacher ay si Ma’am Erps at lahat ng subject na tinuro niya samin. The best!

3. Alam mo ba lahat ng facilities sa Quesci? Ano pinakagusto mo?

- yep yep! Yung research room na may magandang desks na never ginamit pero ginawang headquarters ni Ma’am Erps para sa DebSoc. Yes! (Mathay I 2^nd floor)

4. Madalas ka ba sa Soccerfield? Ano ginagawa mo dun?

- 2^nd year madalas kami sa curb mag laro. Hanggang sa grumaduate sa may curb pa rin. Except nung senior’s night na todo late ako, pero tumambay pa rin barkada sa soccerfield at nagstargazing at nagkuwentuhan.

5. Ano ang tawag mo sa mga benches malapit sa mathay ii building? para san yun?

- Perim. Dun nilalagay ng mga officers ang gamit nila kapag training ng COCC at tinatambayan ng mga tao. Lalo na ng mga officers.

6. Favorite food sa canteen?

- itlog na pula at kamatis. Tska yung saba con yelo ni ate Dudz at mga tinda ni ate Dudz

7. Ano ang tamang spelling? Cheats? Chits? Cheets? Chitz?

- chits! Hahaha... pinapahirapan pa sarili oh! Haha –eto bay ung pera sa canteen?? Chits!

8. Sinusunod mo ba yung Biodegradable/Non Biodegradable trash bins?

- yep yep. Except sa classroom. Walang ganun.

9. Bumoboto ka ba sa SCB/SSG elections? Sino favorite President mo?

- Si ate Nikki para sa SCB. Pero sa batch si Kuya Ace! Yeba!

10. Tumatambay ka sa fire exit? Sino madalas kasama mo dun?

- oo... amin yun eh! Hahaha... tamabayan ng ed3 at ed4... =)... dalawang taon kami dun eh! Hahaha –TRUE!!! Todo sad lang nung 4^th year, biglang pinasara dahil sa mga lowerbatch na hindi alam ang halaga ng fire exit! Dun nagtatago ang mga nagc-cut at tumatambay at naglalaro ang ed3 at ed4!

11. Ano ang mga Lab sa school? Nagamit mo ba lahat?

- Math Lab, Computer Lab, Nat. Sci. Lab, Bio Lab, Chem Lab, Physics Lab, Bio Lab(yung sa admin), Speech Lab, tapos meron pang pinahabol na Research Lab na walang laman(pero gusto ko to. Nagiskwat Ed3 dito!) . Pinaka hindi nagagamit masyado Speech at Math Lab. Pinaka gasgas na Lab sa Edison ay ang Physics Lab. Kasi tumira kami doon at very memorable ang lab nay un sa Edison 3!

12. Scientian.Com! familiar? ano username mo?

- biglang narefresh ang aking memory. Eto yung may forums ata. Nakalimutan ko na!!!

13. eh #quesci? pumupunta ka ba dito?

- uhhh… naririnig ko sa mga kuwento… ahem* ahem* pero hindi ata.

14. Friendly ka ba sa ibang batch?

- ata. Hindi masyado. Siguro. Pero onti lang kakilala ko at wala talaga kong naging ka-close.

15. Anung batch paborito mo? bawal batch mo!

- ‘03(yung graduating batch nung first year ako madami kasi akong busmates dun at naging kakilala) tska ’05.

16. Umaattend ka ba sa night events ng school? anu ano mga na-attenan mo?

- yep. Battle of the bands, ibang disco, mushpit, stargazings, prom, Benefit para kay Ms. G, Senior’s Night na todo late naman ako. Tapos play.

17. Ilang beses ka nagstargazing? Ok ba?

- first year lang. Kasi hindi compulsory yung second time around eh at nasa beach ako. Masaya, kahit wala akong boylet. …na taga school. Hahaha! Yun ata yung first time ko na 24 hours straight gising. At sobrang fun talaga nun. Fun magbreak ng pekeng rules na parang joke at manuod ng lovers. whahahahaha

18. May mga club ka ba? Active member?

- Oo yata. Isa lang yung super naging active ako, Science Club nung 2^nd year dahil kay Ms. Malazo. Tapos joke na yung iba.

19. Umattend ka ba ng fieldtrip? San kayo nagpunta?

- Lahat ng fieldtrip! 1^st year sa Subic: Ocean Adventure at Beach sa Subic pero hindi ako nagswim kasi super init at mga Avo pa kasama ko nun. 2^nd year sa Nueva Ecija/Vizcaya? Tapos may swimming part pero hindi pa rin ako nagswimming, pinanuod ko lang yung ostrich at yung sunset. 3^rd year and walang kuwentang debate about Pork Barrel sa Congress, at yung sa Pag-asa. Pero fun yung Avalon Zoo, todo laugh trip kami ni Kai nun, tapos swimming sa San Mateo at todo kilig yun. Hahaha! At 4^th year, sa Marikina may science thingy dun, tapos sa bahay ni Aguinaldo, at Island Cove, eto lang yung field trip na nag swim ako. At memorable to sa DebSoc kasi pinapili kami ni Ma’am Erps kung magc-compete kami o magf-field trip, at dahil isa lang yung 3^rd year, hindi kami nag-compete. At sobrang saya ng field trip na ‘to!

20. Dala mo ba family mo every Family Day?

- Dad ko lang palagi umaatend. Tapos nung 3^rd at 4^th hindi na ata ako umatend.

21. GC?

- anu yun??? Hahaha... bawal yun sa section namin... hahaha... kapag nagpakaGC ka sa Edison... babye na sa masayang pamilya... – TOTOO! Hindi uso ang pagiging GC sa Edison. Pero deep in our hearts GC kami, ayaw lang naming magpahalata.

22. Crammer?

- Cramming is the Best Policy. Lahat ng class projects krinam naming at palagi yun nasa top-3 except kapag disqualified. hahahah

23. Nagccut ka ba ng classes?

- kaya nabuo ang dyosa! Hahaha – kasi nagcut kami lahat ng Chemistry two days after ng field trip. O day after fieldtrip?

24. Alam mo ba ang ibig sbhn ng Model Boy/Girl at A1 Boy/Girl?

- ewan. I’m such a bad student, never ako nagpay attention sa recognition.. kung umattend man ako.

25. Nagprom ka na ba? San kayo nagprom?

- oh yes! 3^rd year, yung host kami sa Gazebo Royale. 4^th year na hindi maganda kasi corny, sa Celeb.

26. Eh gradball?

- Rembrandt? Rembrant. Yun yung rinig ko. Hindi ko alam spelling. Fun fun fun night! Kahit late ako. hahaha

27. Nakatulog ka na ba sa class?

- oo yata. Hindi ako sigurado. Baka oo.

28. Eating in class?

- syempre.

29. Nagttext habang nagddiscuss yung teacher?

- oo. Minsan nga nung nauso ang sun to sun may kausap pa ko sa phone na nsa likod. Wahahaha!

30. Memorize mo ang school hymn?

- Alma Mater dear and beloved

Fountain of truth and light

United and dedicated to you we’ll ever be

To distant land we may go

Searching for truth and the unknown

To thee we pledge our loyal hearts and souls

Quezon City Science High School

To thee we pledge our loyal hearts and souls

Quezon City Science High School

31. Ano yung tawag sa lower part ng flag pole?

- atomium ang bininyag na pangalan ng xientians dun eh! Haha—yun ba? Alam ko atom lang.

32. Sino ang favorite cook mo?

- Ate Dudz!

33. Favorite guard?

- Uhhh.. shet. Nakalimutan ko yung pangalan. Baka wala.

34. Favorite janitor/janitress?

- Si Mang Fred

35. Ok ba sayo na scientists pangalan ng sections?

- yup... wag na sana palitan... =)... tanong ko lang... bakit dalawa yung E??—oo nga. Hmmm.. puwede na mang isa lang. at oo, wala kong angal sa pangalan.

36. Ano masasabi mo sa school fair?

- uhhhh… yung cheering lang pinuntahan ko. Tapos nung first year lang talaga ko pumunta sa lahat ng events (day) kasi nasa play ako.

37. Favorite event/booth sa school fair?

- Cheerdance! Oh yeah! Grandslam ang batch naming 1^st-3^rd champion, tapos tinamad na kami sumali ng 4^th year kasi entrance exam ng ADMU at give chance to others. hahahaha

38. Full support ka ba sa school plays? ano favorite mo?

- Yep. Gusto ko yung first year ako, kasi andun ako. Wahahahaha! New Yorker in Tondo. Tska yung God, kasi pinaghirapan ng SET yun. At naubos ata buhok ni sir Mark dahil masipag ang mga SET.

39. Sino crush mo sa school?

- aalalahanin ko… si Arturo Trinidad (ngayon panget na siya), siiiiiiii shet… di ko maalala pangalan! Basta ’04. Tska si Carlo Iriberri!!! At si Tix wahahaha. At si PAPA JOSE! At si Jumags. At si Leandro Morillo. Oh, at si Michael ng ’04. At isa pang ’03 na taga Curie na hindi ko maalala yung pangalan if ever nalaman ko man ang pangalan niya.

Yun langJ

40. May friends ka ba sa alumni?

- oo. Pero hindi ko na sila nakikita ngayon at feel ko hindi na kami magkakaalalahanan. Well, si ate Nikki, at si ate Kaye, at si Kuya Christian, at si Gian.. well, meron pa, pero hindi ko ka-close.

41. Nakapaglead ka na ba sa flagcem? Anong pinagawa sayo?

- never.:D

LAST:

Pagaaralin mo ba anak mo sa Quesci?

- baka hindi na. pero gusto bumalik sa quesci:D

@1:23 PM

Everytime that my mom is to leave the country, something happens to my lola. My family (except for me) is scheduled to leave for Dubai on the 7th of April, and two days ago, Inang was rushed to the hospital due to diabetic complications and the threat of having her foot cut off which was out of the question. My mom along with the majority of her brothers wouldn't allow it.

So, Inang stayed in the hospital. We've visited her yesterday's yesterday, which in my world is yesterday, since thursday and friday are merged in one long day because I haven't slept, thanks to my beloved men.

It really means a lot to me, when tito Bon, Vic, Dik, and Kuya JR, and tito Ricky, and Kuya Beng would allow me to join their bonding moments because it's very rare. They wouldn't usually let me join, but last night or rather this morning they had no choice because I was left in the hospital to watch over Inang and make sure the nurses are taking care of her. I hung out with them, and it was a total laugh trip!

But, in the end I kinda got pissed... rather scared, and annoyed that Kuya JR had to leave to drive his girlfriend to somewhere, and nobody would wake up. Thanks ah! All four: tito Ricky, tito Bon, Vic, and Dik; they were all sleeping, and I couldn't wake them up. It was a little frustrating that I didn't have a phone(because my father confiscated MY phone!) to ask somebody to save me. I wanted to rest my eyes a bit but I couldn't because there were a lot of valuable and expensive medicine around, and the nurses checks in on my lola for every half an hour and they would ask for some equipments to use (we bring our own equipments, some, because the hospital charges a lot for their equipments!)

Good thing, Dik's girlfriend came and my lolo and Inang's yaya came and lolo brought me home(well to his house.) Still, it was a fun night. Super bonding especially with kuya JR.

"Mag mi-miss-miss-an ang mangyayari satin neto." -tito Bon. I guess so. I'm going to miss Vic, and for the past two days I have been having ultimate laugh trips with Magic.