January 10, 2008
Update for today:
1)I got my period today which is a bummer because I am having helluva muscle cramps plus my bruises which aches most of the time because I bump them. (I have one on my right elbow, a big one on my right bicep, and a long one on my left arm, two from falling of the stairs and the biggest from Magic's punch.)
2) I spent the first day with my mother and brothers living their lives in the Philippines and the whole day with Papa because it's a holiday today.
3) We ate the same food for lunch and breakfast.
4) I took a bath early today. :) Right after breakfast.
5) I washed the blues, purples, indigos today. and then Ironed most of the clothes, except for Papa's polos and my brother's shirts.
6) I now love Jack and Bobby because Jack McCallister is a total hottie and the series made me cry:)
7) Papa and I went to the Outlet Mall with tito Emel, tita Tess, tito Dong, and tito Andy. I'm sleepy the whole time, but I saw two cute guys. A couple of middle aged men seemed like they were checking me out, and the girl at El Mondo Cafe who I think is Filipina treated me like I am not one, maybe because I am starting to get my accent again and that my dad and I talk in english in addition to the english shows that I am watching. I suddenly didn't like anything from mango and found it expensive, which I now regret, also in Billabong and Roxy, specially now that they have new board shorts. Maybe because at that time I really really needed to go potty. Tito Andy treated us at some classy cafe, where I had a good latte and chicken takki which is indian filling on a panini. Papa finally bought me shoes, which I realized after was more expensive than the one I wanted from Zara. But the one in Zara is prettier, but I also liked the one I bought from Aldo cause it has this vintage look to it, I also wanted the red one with leopard prints (they were both flats because I am inlove with flats!!!) but I can't buy both, so I am waiting for DSF(which I think means Dubai Shopping Festival) that I told papa means Daughter's Shopping's Free:D atleast I get to bring home something!:D plus papa bought the protector for fabrics and suedes to keep am clean and dirt and water proof.:)
I am happy now. I get to keep my father for myself means, most of his love and all his attention is on me.:D And I am a fucking daddy's girl so fuck off whoever tries to steal my dad away, and he knows better than showing that he loves someone more than me. He knew what happened when I found out he had a mistress. It's okay for me to share him with my mother, which is good because it keeps my mother away from me. and my brothers are different, because their boys and I know papa loves me more because I am the only girl and I get my way around. But someone else who is totally not family gets more than I do... NO FUCKING WAY. I am a jealous person, and maybe a little insecure but I know what I know, and I tend to keep it that way. Besides, I secretly like being liked and being everybody's pet. :) I like the attention in that way, and now, since I am the only kid here who cooks superbly, I get praises and a little love. :)
I am not really missing my classmates, nor my friends that much. I am still having fun with my solitude. And I have no big annoying mother problems and besides, even though my father thinks he's gonna make my world small, it's not true. I have made my world small, I am most of the time in my own world. Besides, how can he make it small? I don't have friends here, how will I possibly go out drinking and smoking and doing drugs(which he doesn't know) besides the problem maker and fury waker is thousands of miles away from. I am perfectly safe and happy in this small world that I made and my father thinks he created. As long as he doesn't pull some bull shit, everything will be fine. I don't think there's anything to fight about. and my new year's resolution, main new year's resolution is to let my parents think they're in control of me because I will allow myself to follow them almost obediently, and since it's my new year's resolution my pride and ego won't get hurt when I follow them, because it will be my choice to do whatever it is that they want me to do. :)
Living here, makes me think that my ideals are shaped by my environment, the Philippines and the people in it and my mother inspires me to live without money and live with nature. Being here in Dubai makes me want to get that diploma from my course and work here, work in McDermott. Living here gives me bigger aspirations, but still adding some of my eccentricities to it. Like, yes working here, but making sure that if I work, I'll start with whatever salary or shit or anything for as long as they let me wear whatever I want and then I'll save enough money to study and live in London and if asked what I will study, I will study Biology, and then become a doctor. Yes, I am totally throwing away my future in the law. And then probably get a Ph.D. and then teach. And while studying I will try to get the lamest part time jobs in London. :) And I will be happy, and I'll take it from there. I know somewhere along the road if I do go back to the Philippines, which I'm kinda not excited to do, these plans/day dreams/wants will change.
Hmmmm...:) I love writing:D but I am now hungry and sleepy so I'll probably sleep because I am trying to starve myself to thinness.