Friday, November 23, 2007 @2:31 PM
Once again, I always, ALWAYS, get what I want.
I'm going LOA to find things in my life that I can't find in where I am right now.
I'm taking a break but not a vacation.
and then maybe, I will know what to write.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007 @3:24 AM
Bad day today except for the part I spent with my high school friends and frank and cathy and cathy's boy.
Comforting somehow. Thanks Bart and Kits for listening to the rumble tumble of my confused and lost life:) parang kailangan ko ata ng shirt na "Lost Ako!" at maraming question mark. and thank you Bart kasi hindi ka nagalit. Sobrang natawa talaga ako, salamat.:D salamat kasi as always you never look down on me when I get my acads fucked up and you never fail to shed some light in my cloudy mind when it comes to family matters that I should fix. At Kitten, thanks for being my "date" at sobrang salamat for giving me time to figure out what it was and not judging me and reprimanding about how much fiasco it would bring if it was true, which until now, I can't figure out, but I have to figure me out before I figure out what it is that I really feel. Sabi nga ni Chino, "Gulo nanaman 'to."
Bear!!! I miss hugging you! Of all the friends I have, you are my favorite person to hug. >:D<
Sorry if we had to go home early, I wasn't feeling well, I felt like throwing up the whole day but I couldn't. I don't know what's wrong with me, and now, I can't sleep from all the coffee I drank today. And I guess, I just got nauseus from all the cigarettes I smoked. :|
I am sooo gonna get sick, I realized I only ate two spoonful of rice for breakfast and the fries I ate this afternoon.
@2:59 AM
little notes I wrote during class/after class/talking with friends/alone time:
Theo Prof asked, "Can you be happy without God?" --my initial reaction, without thinking, is NO. But.. I wanted to say 'YES' just for the heck of it but I couldn't defend my answer. So once again I folded and just wrote my thoughts on paper:
"It depends on what you mean by happiness. Happiness is relative. Yes and No. Fleeting happiness, Yes. Eternal contentment, No. But then again happiness is a choice."
In a theo reading it said that God has always been there, and another argued the universe has always existed. So I ask,
"Can God be the universe?"
During Eco class:
"We get depressed when someone leaves us because suddenly, we don't know what to do with the time that we usually spend with them and we are overwhelmed with the the big change in our life."
Also in our Eco class, when Sir Lim mentioned Henry Sy, I hated his guts (Henry Sy) for putting up malls everywhere he likes without even thinking of how much change and probably deteriotation of culture in a place because of his effing SM malls! So I listed down the top five people I wanted to kill:
TOP 5 Personalites I want to Kill:1. George W. Bush2. Queen Elizabeth (the present queen of Great Britain)3. Current Filipino president4. Henry Sy5.___________
mean and psychotic, I know.
And even though I am bored with SA here are some things the de Guzman said that I found interesting/true/worth quoting:
"Every human being must have a bias."
"Religion constructs power; and power constructs life."
"We are creators of our own world..."
"Every moment of living is every moment of dying."""To solve the mystery/problem of death, human being created another world, the after world, and thus religion emerged."
quoting Socrates: "To live is to suffer a long time."
"Are things holy because they are loved by the gods? Or are they loved by the gods because they are holy?"
Thursday, November 15, 2007 @4:36 AM
study break... or probably i'll stop reading altogether and just sleep.
I'm not sure if it's because I am just forgetful or the subject is just not that interesting to remember. Either way I forgot about my SA homework. I was reminded about it after wasting time lying in bed, and watching Grey's Anatomy which made reading too late to start. But I still read it because I have better goals this Sem and I know it's more possible for me to achieve them.
My goal is to stay in LM and get an average of 3 for my management subjects. And I am not just giving my course another sem for me to like, I will be sucking it up until I graduate and get a degree in business management majoring in legal management. 2 1/2 years and I can do whatever I want to do with my life.
My goals this sem are achievable compared to last sem's no cutting goal.
even though I wasn't able to fix myself over the sembreak, I am sucking it up to go to school unfixed. So forgive me if I am moody, snappy, lost, emotional, unpredictable, undecided, and occasionally psychotic. I'm putting my reconstruction on hold, or maybe the pieces of me will just fall into place.
@3:49 AM
**because:)
I got this from Janica's blog.
Questions from the guys...
1.Bakit kayo nagtataray minsan, kahit gentleman naman kami?
--- kasi hindi genuine, kasi hindi totoo, at dahil minsan lang din ang pagiging gentleman niyo.
2. Bakit kelangan pa talagang sa CR mag kuhaan ng picture?
--- dahil, number one: may salamin at kita ang reflection, number two: masaya lang magpaka vain sa cr, number three: kaka retouch lang:D, number four: agree with mocca, maganda ang lighting :D --agree. at dahil girls lang andun:p
3. Bakit babaero ang tingin niyong lahat sa aming lahat?
--- somehow, it's your nature. and nature is judged as guilty until proven innocent. ;p
4 . Hindi rin. Ganon ba?
--- unless proven innocent.
5. Ano kami para sa inyo?
--- toy. kaya nga boy-toy. BWAHAHAHAHA
6. Bat kayo mahilig mag post?
--- it's an emotional, as well as creative, outlet --I second the motion. at tska kasi, we have opinions to share.:D
7. Bat kayo namamalo ng balikat 'pag natatawa?
--- hindi ako ganun. siguro sa sobrang corny nung joke nakakahampas na lang kami.
8. Ano ibig sabihin 'nun?
--- ibig sabihin kawawa ka kapag pinatay ka dahil sa kakornihan mo, kaya palo na lang.
9 . 'Bat namimili kayo ng ka text?
--- kasi ayoko nagaaksaya ng piso at oras. at nakakatamad magtext. at ayoko ng hindi ko gusto.
10 . Ano mas type niyo? Yung makulit o sweet?
--- makulit. kasi yung makulit puwede ko awayin ng walang guilt. kapag sweet kahit gusto ko ng awayin mahirap kasi nakakaguilty.
11. 'Bat may iba sa inyong tibo ang boyfriend?
--- kasi loser kayo.
12. Ano ba ang hanap niyo sa isang guy?
--- mas matalino sakin :D someone with a strong personality, speaks well, spontaneous and fun, mature, kayang sakyan pagka neurotic ko :D --uuuy, parehas tayo. PERO meron akong listahan ng gusto ko sa isang lalaki.
13. Talaga?
--- oo, kasi idealistic ako.
14. 'Bat kayo mahinhin? Ok lang naman samin kung hindi.
--- mukha bang mahinhin ako?! --exacty the point. Mas lalaki pa ata ako sa'yo. kung sino ka man:))
15 . Anong klase ba ng tao ang minamahal niyo ng lubusan?
--- siyempre yung magbibigay ng more than the overflowing love we give.
16. Baket may 2-timer sa inyo?
--- eh, bakit may 2-timer sa inyo?
17 . Ano pa kaya.
--- ...
18. Bakit kayo naiilang ng walang dahilan??
--- there is always a reason, actually.-- true. lahat ng bagay, kilos, at salita may dahilan. isang dahilan kasi mahirap makipagkapwa-tao sa mga kupal.
19 . Bakit may mga bansag kayo sa kaibigan niyong lalaki?
--- eh kasi friend. para mas distinguish ang friend, sa hindi friend, at sa hindi kilala.
20. Ano'ng mas gusto niyong itawag sa inyo? ate o miss?
--- malamang miss. ate? bakit? kapatid ba kita?-- True!
21 . Kapag ka edad lang?
--- kapag hindi kilala "Miss" pero kapag kilala malamang pangalan ko.
22 . Bakit?
--- miss para hindi bastos. name, kasi sabi nga the sweetest word you'd ever hear is the sound of your name. hahaha. hindi naman masyado conceited.:))
23. 'Bat naniniwala kayo sa mga bulletin threats (e.g. repost this or
else...)?
--- I don't.
24. Ano'ng purpose ng pGsuSuLaT nG mEi dEsiGn?.,
--- para maganda o kaya para mambwisit.
25. 'Bat wala lang?
--- hindi wala lang ang sagot ko.
27 . Bakit mahilig kayo sa gwapo?
--- kasi instinct ng lahat ng organisms to find someone who would be the best to propagate with. kaya mahilig kami sa guapo, mahilig kayo sa maganda.
28 . 'Bat mahilig kayo umiyak pag may prob?
--- hindi na ko naiiyik sa sarili kong problema pero kasi mas magaan yung feeling kapag nakaiyak ka na. magaan yung feeling.
29 . 'Bat mas maraming girl ang nagpapaganda para sa mga lalaki?
--- i really doubt it. guys do too for girls. mas marami lang beauty rituals ang girls kaya mas mukhang marami. moreover, nagpapaganda kami for the sole purpose na ayaw namin na magmukhang pangit. it's really personal, dear. don't take it as a compliment :)) --TRUE! Not everything is about you. :)) it's more for our self-fulfilment and self-actualization purposes.
30 . Bakit ang hilig niyong umiwas pag alam ng crush niyo crush mo sya?
--- Kayo ba hindi? kasi nakakahiya. Well, ako, kasi madami akong sinasabi na napaka tactless.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007 @10:39 PM
I just love this poem. I first heard this in the movie, "In Her Shoes" and then encountered it agian during summer in Lit 14 class with Ms. Nunez and again last night when I watched the movie again.
One Art
Elizabeth Bishop
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
The first time I heard this, I cried. The time when we recited it for Lit, I got teary eyed. I don't know what's with this poem that it just makes me sad.
Maybe I feel for the persona. She's in denial. And she's pretending that losing someone is okay and it isn't that hard that losing her friend is just the same as losing a pen, or something ordinary. She's pretending she's okay and that she's used to losing things.
That's why the poem is sad. Because it's sadder to read or see someone pretending s/he is okay, when in reality his/her world is crumbling.