Monday, October 08, 2007 @3:44 AM
sabi ng mga sharks kay marlin sa finding nemo.
i'd like to be in denial about a lot of things in my life until i am reasy to confront them.
and maybe if i deny them long enough, it'll be repressed and soon be forgotten like it never existed.
i like it that way. easier. ayoko talaga ng confrontations. confrontations make me smoke a pack straight, makes me feel like crap, and most of all my whole world stops while the earth continues to move. all in all i dig my own grave when i confront myself and all the problems and shitty things that bothers me.
if i don't live in semi-denial/semi-repression i will develop GAD(general anxiety disorder) and then fall into a state of depression and probably become anti-social.
exag, but what if? my god, good thing there are such things as defense mechanisms or else i'll be all that. hahaha.
yes, laugh. laugh until you can't laugh anymore. laugh until you're actually laughing at yourself for laughing, and then it would sound real to your ears. and then maybe, you would stop pretending.
i find it hard to differentiate if i am pretending or if i am in denial. maybe be both. pretending not to care is my way of denying that i care. if i really do care, get what i mean? but you know, i don't care. really, i don't.
i don't give a fuck about it. i don't give a damn about you, and what you do. I DON'T CARE.
okay, maybe i care? but who can tell? i mean, if i can't how can you? i will show the whole world that they will believe what i am making myself believe. and then, everything will be true.:)
then i won't have to confront myself, and i will not be swimming in the nile.:D