Thursday, October 18, 2007 @2:14 AM
Going away even for just 2 days did me something good.
I feel lighter. And things are better.:) maybe because i did things that i truly love/d.
Jedyne and I went to Kim's house and my mom with her friends drove us all the way to tagaytay just to make sure that's where I am going. Laugh trip, road trip.
when we got to Kim's house, we decided to watch stardust in SM dasma:D
fun. fun jeep ride. good conversations. a not crowded mall. cheap movie tickets. a friendly ticket tearer. an almost empty theater. a really really enchanting film.
:: watching stardust made me believe in the magic of dreaming and loving again. it gave back that little space in my heart for the little things that i used to find joy in. the littlest, absurd and unreal things that i think of that makes my heart jump for joy. laughing and watching it with friends who share the same perception of the magical world with you makes the whole experience memorable.
"We are all children of the universe-- stardust brought to life."
it made me believe that i am really a star. ::
getting back happy from a fantastic film, we ate dinner, talked more, and ended up getting full. we went out for a walk because we were full and i wanted some. after buying, we ended up eating more in kim's room and talking a lot about random ideas and opinions. we then went to tagaytay with tita emillie.
:: i am not a big fan of starbucks, but it's coffee and I LOVE COFFEE, so we went there. (well, just the blend of bitter-sweet and creamy taste of coffee that keeps you warm specially when it's really cold.) plus it has a nice view that was a vastness of black last night.
mababaw akong tao, gusto ko lang ng view, kape(kahit ano, masaya na ko sa nescafe 3-1), at tao na magandang kausap(hindi kailangang maganda yung tao, basta ayos kausap.)
i sat at a fence staring up at the stars, and i was memesmerized by them. i feel like they were smiling down at me, and at that moment, i was happy. i was at peace. and i was ready for anything. i just sat there, staring, smiling, listening, pondering. at that moment (even though i was freezing), i felt so at peace, so serene, and somehow i felt like i was flying.
until, my friend texted. we left after eating at some tapsilog place. more good conversations with kim's mom. and i think i looked stupid with my head out looking up, getting high from looking at the sky lit up with starssssss. with the wind on my hair, relaxing driving music playing, and the empty highway, i super wished i could drive. ..a convertible. :)) ::
late nights. life conversations, good book, good music, good friends... good morning.
::at some point during the night/early morning, i read my book again and reading it put more conviction to my beliefs, opinions and world view. here are some excerpts that moved me:
"every gesture made by a human being is sacred and full of consequences, and that makes me thnk even more about what I am doing."
"you are the only person responsible for your choice, so be quite sure about what you are doing."
--thus, when in doubt, don't. but sometimes i tend to forget/ignore.
"obsession will not help you in the search for your goal." --i used to obsess, but not anymore.:)
these are my favorite lines in Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken" which is quoted in the book:
'Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
"Even when a friend does something you do not like, he continues to be your friend."
and when I read this, i just cried:
"the greatness of God always reveals itself in the simple things."
and i just felt grateful for the blessing that i can see and appreciate the little things in my life.
"what makes life interesting are the challenges we face"
"we managed to survive with a few grazed knees and a few traumas."
"Often what we call 'experience' is merely the sum of our defeats."
~thus now, i am thankful for the 'drama' that i was complaining about for the past days. without it life wouldn't be colorful.
"It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing." ~that is why I always, always get what I want.
"Only the following items should be considered to be grave faults: not respecting another's rights; allowing oneself to be paralysed by fear; feeling guilty; believing that one does not deserve the good or ill that happens in one's life; being a coward."
and as i forgive myself for the mess i made in my life, i forgive you. For the things you said and didn't say and the things you did and didn't do, I forgive you.
**Excerpts from Paulo Coelho's Like the Flowing River