Friday, September 14, 2007 @2:03 AM
flu strikes back! i don't know if it's because of the weather or because of something else. but i think it's just because of the weather.
went to the doctor today. freaking asthma! it's coming out of my skin instead:( but i still have to have my eyes or head checked again. my headaches are killing me!!! i woke up today thinking why the freaking tv is broken! turns out my eyes are waaay malabo na.:(
so anway, i went with my parents to the doctor and while we were stuck in traffic in edsa i was doing my psych project. Freaky!!!
I wrote nov. 6, 2002, 5 years ago I was preparing for my death. Yes, death. Death has been the topic of choice I want to talk about lately, and sex—well just how people get overly dramatic and sensitive about it. And I said 5 years ago that I want my journals and everything I have written to be read when I die.
And that’s what I have been doing. Subconsciously, I got tamad to have a theme or some letters to the world that I decided to just compile all my entries starting high school.
I know, I am back to being obsessed with meanings. That’s why I just found it freaky. Am I going to die?? Well, yeah, I will, eventually. But this soon? Cool. I think I am being preapared to die.:D
Okay, I am not that happy about it. I realized I still want to do a lot of things. Or am I just scared to find out what’s out there. What’s really out there. How can people have faith when they are near death? When there are a lot of religions out there. How can people who preach say there’s a heaven, there’s life after death. Eh hindi pa nga sila namamatay eh! At! Kahit na namatay sila, they don’t come back to actually confirm that there’s a heaven. What id there’s none? What if when you die, you just die. What if we don’t have souls???
Putangina. Nahihilo na ko.
And still after all this, I close my book along with my eyes and wished I get hit by a car and die.
but then again, i know i'm not gonna die.