Sunday, September 23, 2007 @1:41 AM
i am not a puppet. i am attached to no strings. i am attached to no one.
as i have said before, from attachment comes love.
and it's a stupid thing to say, "no strings attached." but then again, you can be both single, but either way, i'll get attached.
stupid stupid me.
i'm supposed to be a year older, a year wiser. but how come i still don't know what i want?
no, i know what i want. it just seems that i don't because they are contradicting.
I want to be single, have fun, and live the life of a party. I want him to enjoy his single life, he needs it after a break-up of a tiring relationship. But, i want him. I want him for myself. and i am not so sure of the reason. Is it the comfortability and security he gives? Is it just the benefits? Is it just because he's there, and I can't find anyone who's more fitting?
and now I feel guilty. These are my reasons, and he is hesitant because he respects me, he respects our friendship. and i am on a rampage to kill it.
"One last time, no strings attached, come on."
and then, i woke up attached to him. Is it because he's my friend? or is it because I feel like his, knowing, hoping that there's something deeper than what hapened.
it's not just it. there's something more? yes, it's a question mark we both have to answer.
might as well stay as friends. but can we leave the benefits?:D