Tuesday, September 25, 2007 @4:51 PM
emo entry ahead.
BEWARE: slut crossing. oh, i think they like that. no need for the beware sign.
putanginang coping mechanisms yan. putangina talaga. maybe i have some psychological disorder. i mean, people who have psych disorder are behaving abnormally because their behavior does not fit the situation.
My behaviors never seem to fit the perfect situation. palaging delayed or too soon or akala ko ginagawa ko na hindi pa pala, na-stuck yung action sa utak ko pero frozen yung katawan ko.
i am a mix of everything right now, i'm on the verge of vomitting everything out.
When you go on a drinking spree, and you feel wasted, they tell you to vomit. "Isuka mo na yan, para okay na. Pilitin mo." But I don't like vomitting. I don't like the taste, I don't like the feeling, I don't like how it looks, how it smells, and it gives this sour taste, it leaves your throat scratchy and dry, and it leaves your stomach empty. it leaves you empty. and you're gonna sleep anyway. but then they'll say, atleast you won't have hangover.
oh, you know, with me hangovers last for more than the morning after. it lasts for a week. ganun katagal. well, exag pero minsan ganun, kasi pinipilit ko gumising kahit sobrang sakit sa ulo, i am awake, and it takes a long time bago ako makabawi ng tulog. so, i end up with a headache for more than a week.
one day, my body will colapse along with my heart.
oh yeah, i lost my heart somewhere. maybe that's why i don't know what i feel for him now. it's a mix of hormones and neurotransmitters overreacting everytime i see him, i smell his scent(which is super bango!), and everytime that i am reminded of him.
somewhere in my surroundings i can sense or probably hear(?) that what i want is not a good idea, but the stubborn me wants it.
egoEGOEGO. no. i don't think it's the ego. it's more of the ID. oh yes, pleasure principle. it's a pleasure to have him around. looking at you.
putangina... my love life is a terrible cycle of rebounding. oh i think i am good in rebounds, i scored 4 points yesterday!:) and we won! yesyesyes!:D
oh yes, my love life is a terrible terrible cycle of mistakes. it's not an exact same thing of the previous one. it's more of, i like him, we flirt, he doesn't like me, i go look for a kapalit, and the cycle repeats.
oh yes, it's been like that. i like a guy, i go after him, another guy comes along, i ignore guy number2, it doesn't work out with guy#1, ill give guy #2 a chance or get a guy#3, and then it'll be the same thing again, and if i get the guy, i push him away, and go for a new guy, and then the previous guy would leave, and then i'll run after him and then we'll end it, and i'll look for comfort from another guy.
wtf. this is superduper sick. i must be sick. putangina naman.
BEWARE: troubled mental patient.