tock. there it goes. i panic. then pretend to stay calm.
dingdong. breathe. talk. feel your heart racing. you try to stop the adrenaline from rushing. breathe.
continue the conversation.keep the conversation going. then you catch yourself obsessing over everything about the conversation and between.
you curse. you hate. and then you try to stop. you think. it's gotten worse. your in this deeper than you thought.
the conversation stops. you pretend not to care. you start making excuses why. you do your work. waiting for the blue to turn orange. you check the status. it's the same. you wait. do your work. wait.
poof. it turns gray. and you notice your heart sinks with the tab.
you feel like crying. everything's so heavy. your heart couldn't contain it. you burst. tears fall.
poof. it turned back to yellow. your heart jumps and smile faintly.
you wait again.
nothing.
you hope again.
nothing.
then your heart gives a silent thud. thinking it'd explode like a firecracker or it'd break noisily. but your heart is too fragile that one gentle touch, one wrong touch, it breaks. just like that.